Noobs

I came back from Plav, started College, finished some homework, had some fun, and I'm happy. Kind of cool, huh. Oh, I also joined Facebook and started a group for Plav and Gusinje. I've never been so surprised, seeing where these people come from. I was motivated to write this blog only for some more stupid religious thought-wars. Someone started a discussion by saying something along the lines of, "There is no God, religion is a form of mind control and slavery, we are all worthless creatures in the universe." When I saw that I thought, "Sweet, this is me four years ago." But I didn't bother to respond because, I guess, Allah leads whom he wills. What inspired me to blog wasn't the emo's post, rather some quote by another member as a sort of quasi rebuttal to atheism that his grandfather told him: "If there is not a God/heaven, then you gain nothing and I lose nothing. But if there is a God/heaven, then I gain everything and you lose everything." Hamza Malick, I guess he can feel important about it lol, basically told me something like that and that's what changed me because I haven't heard any "logic" arguments of that sort, so I thought to myself, "Well, I better do some serious research before I blindly believe in something I'm not even sure about." More than less, I've gotten my understanding of life today, seemingly entirely by luck, it's kind of frightening. But I suppose, instead of calling it luck I was "led," because that's how I feel.
So...onto something else. College is great, basically for two reasons: 1. My parents are only paying like $4,900 for tuition this semester and 2. My teachers are all amazing. The students there are all right, I don't really know them, but perhaps sooner or later I will. English might become my favorite subject this semester because of the relationship I can have with the teacher, like I can talk to her about anything, but I haven't. I want to write well, I used to think Math would be important in my life, but I'm not too fond of it anymore. I believe someone who can write well will have more... options in this world especially with the the force of globalization. I don't want to be an English major, albeit, I would like to write something like, for example, the description of a facebook's group:

"I already made an anti "Carlos" group, yet as I sat down to view whatever Neal Brennan threw together for the new season of Chappelle's show, I was greeted by Carlos's genial face, commanding me to pay attention for some petty and mean spirited reason that Carlos thought would be humorous. How dare he impose himself on any other part of television that is not his terrible show or the awful promoting for it.

Carlos Mencia is a threat worse than any Cable Guy or modern-day Schneider, his vacuous, pretentious, uber-confident, right wing brand of poorly conceived comedy is atrocious and an affront on all endeavors worthwhile and true. Good comedy is an outlet for the truth, an exposition on society and culture. Carlos stomps all over this idea, and replaces it with a brash ignorance, short sightedness, and constant self-promotion in the vein of the most classic of demagogues. Think of Carlos as the Sean Hannity of comedy. Mind of Mencia( such magnificent alliteration!) will be Carlos’s last stop in career advancement. Him and his kind must be stopped, before our culture is ever awash in complete ignorance and prideful mediocrity.

No wonder David Chappelle could not return to Comedy Central, look what his show spawned."

I suppose all I need to really manage is my vocabulary and practice. I would like to write things, however, that isn't necessarily always about hating someone. I'd prefer to write nice things, but also be able to provide arguments with wit and substance.

So, what have I learned? Atheism is on the rise, just he said there would be. Listening to my retarded uncle talk about God is disturbing, he's still like a child. I'm afraid of the future, America is headed, like the Titanic, full speed towards an ice berg. And I think it might simply be inevitable, whether anyone would like to believe it or not. Life "has" to be terrible in the future, and it sure looks like it will. Why? Hey, if those "fables" are true, Judgement Day is coming and it's going to suck.

I miss the simple life of Plav, I should seriously move there. Except, I would have to figure out how to get a ton of money. Stocks are nice, but I would need a K.M.A.(kiss my) account too, in-case something goes wrong.

I think I'm going to some crazy Alex Jones, Immortal Technique, speaking or whatever tomorrow. I want to see Tech, since I missed him last time at Fordham. Hey, I like to think. I've known about their ideas for a while, before it really got popular. I'm kind of glad I introduced my friend to the ideas too and enlightened him, if that's appropriate. He used to be just another republican until I showed him what I had found on the internet. I have to thank whoever that guy was on the TermPro car audio forums for startin the topic on Badnarik because without him I'd still be mindless. The oppurtunity cost would have been too great for me, but I'm glad I made the right choice. This blog is way too long. I love life, Plav, and my "dark secrets." It's just a quote, they're not actually "dark," it's simply an inside joke. Noobs.

Back

I'm back now. Well, I have been for a few days and I'd like to say the trip was awesome. My brother thought it was kind of boring and gay, but that's because he's like a materialist and loves things like his computer and what not. I wish I was still there for some reason. When you're eighteen and you know a good amount about life and what it's like, it's really special seeing your family and trying to comprehend the profoundness of seeing others who should be with us but aren't. Just looking around at the mountains and homes and things was kind of weird because my family has been living in this area for like 500 years which gives us a trenchant pedigree. You have to feel proud about it, you know, it's just unexplainable. I can't wait for next year.


Digressing quote: “What experience and history teaches us is that people and governments have never learned anything from history, or acted on principles deduced from it”

Leave(ing)

I'll be leaving for Montenegro in like five days. Having fun and all that good stuff. Hopefully I lose some weight and better myself mentally for the future.
While I'm sitting down here at my home feeling a bit lazy I can only begin to imagine what Peter C. must have been doing with America's best. He's a really nice guy even though I only talked to him on a few bus rides and random places like that. I would even go and say that he's my hero. I actually wish sometimes I understood everything I did now and was in West Point with him learning to be tomorrow's leaders. But, everyone wants to be something they're not. It's true and depressing a bit, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. I wish I was smarter, well known and well respected. I guess it's still possible, but nothing would motivate me more than the simple force of competition, which I personally love.
Well, if I can't be what I wanted to be hopefully my children can. I've taken Psychology so I know the effects of making a "perfect" child. I want to give my child all the oppurtunities he/she can possibly get. From there, it's their choice. That right there is the road to being known as "the greatest dad."
This sounds nice and all, but I'm probably way too shy and pathetic to get past the first step: getting a girlfriend. I can imagine myself as "that guy" in the movies. But I'm far from it. "That girl" still has me since, "You know, the thing that makes a fantasy great is the possibility that it might come true." I think it might be because of her I've decided there's no such thing as true love. It's all hormonal and primitive. Just look at modern American inner city culture.
Be back soon, I hope. Allah imanet.

de Menezes

http://breakingnews.iol.ie/news/story.asp?j=189326608&p=y893z73y4

Cops in London gun a man down and shoot him, what was it, eleven times? And they get away with it! "Unbelievable," is an understatement. God damnit, fuck these government crooks.

"The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants. It is it’s natural manure." Refresh we must. But we're most likely too scared and won't. This one world order shit is making too much sense, I'm really hoping there isn't one and everyone was wrong all along. Sigh.

Marriage(the other kind)

We hold these truths to be self–evident,

That all men are created equal,

That they are endowed by their Creator

with certain unalienable Rights,

That among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–

That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men,

Deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed.

Here's one argument for gay marriage, although I'm not one. It's an unalienable right. Which "right," you ask? If you understand the Bill of Rights and the Ninth Amendment you can say the pursuit of happiness is a right. Banning an action such as gambling, gay marriage, and other kinds of activities some humans enjoy in their "pursuit" of happiness is simply unconstitutional. The document the United States of America uses to define itself from others is the Constitution, not the Bible. Also, honestly, how can two guys you might never see or know affect these people so much? I thought the Bible tried to teach us that we should love people for who they are. Oh well. This post is just a thought.

Time will tell.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

You'll see.

I just remembered that my 'theory' is actually just a hypothesis.
...
I'm graduating...tomorrow. Man... I'm really going to miss it. I've got my plans, my heart, and my books. I just want to be remembered. I guess you'll see how that works out.
Oh, actually, I've been thinking about this for a while too. Since it goes along with 'being remembered.' I feel like I'm 'protected', it's so weird. I've fallen and gotten hurt a few times, but I've never been seriously hurt besides the time I was born, with the broken collar bone. So like, I just have this feeling like I won't die until I do what I'm supposed to.
I'm not going to challenge it though and try my luck, but like I said before, you'll see.

Scary

"Life is understood looking backwards but it must be lived forwards."

I wish there was a way I could just upload my thoughts to some file
on a computer instead of writing everything down.
Wouldn't that be scary?

A theory

Another wild idea. It's a kind of weird theory, but whatever, it's just a theory from some random kid.

"In physics, the graviton is a hypothetical elementary particle that transmits the force of gravity in most quantum gravity theories."

The hypothetical graviton is thousands of times smaller than atoms. The definition of sound is vibration. Perhaps the constant beep, silence, is a result of the vibrating gravitons. It's a weird observation, but it does make sense. If it's wrong I won't care, I'm just curious and want to figure out why this occurs since I can't find it on the internet anywhere, yet. Since gravity is everywhere in the universe, I would assume silence would be everywhere as well. Also, I have no idea how I would test this theory, you know? If I was right, the existence of gravitons would be linked to silence and would probably be an important discovery. It sounds cool and all, but too farfetched that I could ever make any contribution to science, in any way. So um, yeah. If I'm right bury me near Sir Isaac Newton when I die, that would be nice.

I've had this idea for a few days now. It's kind of weird and random. One night before I was about to sleep the room was really silent. I say it's weird and random because I was wondering what the actual frequency of silence was, which is why I also said it was random. Furthermore, I wondered, Hmm, I know silence has it's own frequency too because it's like a constant humming that's annoying. But what is the cause of this everlasting "beep?"

Yo, sweet question! I thought silence would somehow be like the scientific definition of a cold object, you know, the absence of heat. I thought silence would actually be... silent, or in other words, the absence of sound. But silence IS a damn sound. Maybe I can make my big break in the science world and figure it out! Then after that I can unify the theories of general relativity and quantum physics and become a science dude. I'll try to satisfy my curiosity. I can't believe I really talk like that..

It's too bad.

I've got lacrosse now, you're gonna have to wait a while for another piece of mine.
We lost to Wilton and Benedict's talk after the game was interesting to say at the least. I love how he tells us not to be ashamed and that we just have to mature and understand that all we have to do is learn to fix the things we messed up and always go back 100%. He also talked about his personal major goal of reaching the age of 100 and how he's got the balls and guts to work for it. I smiled when he said that, 'cause I was like what the hell is he talking about. But that's an awesome goal. I really wish I had an English class with him or did something to learn more about him because, as weird as he is, he's probably got an amazing mind. It's too bad I haven't.
I have to get better so he'll notice me.
I guess I'm out.

Yesterday

A friend posts this website, http://evolution-facts.org/Ev-V1/1evlch08.htm , and has the hyperlink text as "the Source of all Ignorance" on his profile. Then I asked what he meant by it, and he goes off on 'idiot christians' and if you're going to argue for creationism don't use the atmosphere as evidence to prove there is a god. I guess he's mentally retarded or something because if he actually read the shit instead of listening to what his pot-smoking, black makeup wearing, cynical, etc. friends tell him. The conclusion, "The arrangement did not come about by chance. Too many factors are involved, and if even one was missing, life could not exist here." makes too much sense it's ridiculous. I will say though both sides of this debate between evolution and creation does 'make sense', however, upon critical examination and thinking creationism makes more sense thus(nerd) making the latter invalid. He's just a product of the enviornment and influences. I used to be like that, and the constant feeling of hopelessness that there is no god is unmatchable. I couldn't even tell you how many times I've considered suicide over ridiculous miniscule things when I was like that.

Here's some random snippit of an article I found on the net about converts to and from atheism.

"William Murray (1946 – )
Growing up as the son of Madalyn Murray O’Hair, founder of American Atheists, William Murray was taught very early that God was a myth. His mother went all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court in 1963 to prevent her then-14-year-old son from having to pray in his Baltimore public school. Her victory removed prayer from all the nation’s public schools.

William Murray went on to become the president of American Atheists, the organization founded by his mother, but he later came to reconsider his atheism. “It was in January ’80 that I became a Christian. I had been disillusioned for many years by the atheist and Marxist background with which I had been raised,” he said in 1995. “It was the result of living 30 years of a lifestyle where nothing mattered, nothing meant anything, except getting what I could.”

Murray now heads the Religious Freedom Coalition, a pressure group “promoting religious freedom and family based legislation” in the United States."

A lifestyle where nothing mattered, nothing meant anything, kind of depressing isn't it? I know as much as people try to attribute religion with morons and killers and whatever else they can find to slander it, atheism is so much worse. I see Thomas Paine has said, "All national institutions of churches, whether Jewish, Christian or Turkish, appear to me no other than human inventions, set up to terrify and enslave mankind, and monopolize power and profit." but Athiesm works the same way in a sense. It's like terrifying people about how worthless they are and that life is meaningless, so you should go kill yourself. It's like a tool of evil. I know that Christianity is messed up in many ways, but there are good and bads there too. The same thing applies to atheists, there are good ones and bad ones. It's weird. The world is so confused and it's basically impossible to have everyone understand whatever you understand. Like, we can argue all we want whether we're apes or not but none of us will ever know until we die so, in a way, there's no point in arguing about it. But some people will want to "save" their friends or some others will try to make them follow the "smart guys," so we can't not argue about it. Oh well, it seems like it's just a matter of taste and past influence or research. Perhaps someday there will be a sign that will captivate all of us like Jesus' second coming. You know, I wish I could be alive for that but interestingly enough I like where I am now. I foresee a lot more violence in the future and I'd rather not be a part of that shpiel. Life now is great for me, but not for children in Iraq getting shot by M16's because they're all little 'terrorists.' The only thing that will tell us who's right is time. People will argue, but only time will tell so arguing until whatever point 'it' happens is a good time waster. I'll keep my beliefs with me until I die, but if it happens that I'm wrong. So be it, you know? I'd rather be safe than sorry, but I feel like there's no need to believe in evolution because what I feel is so right. So in the end, I already know I'm safe.

Ah here's some other random quote I found and like, "If it were proven that there is no God there would be no religion. ...But also if it were proven that there is a God, there would be no religion." Funny.

Too much talk about this subject. I'm off to attend to other things.

Wow there's no way two weeks has gone by. That's... damn dude. All right, well, don't ever get addicted to World of Warcraft. It's actually really fun, all Blizzard games are, but it's like unhealthy fun. However, my Mage is awsome. I'm just randomly posting before school starts again. After a week long break, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. So I'll see ya later.

V-Day

At about this time last year I was probably the happiest guy in the world.
Man, I'm fruity. But... I like it. I'm a damn romantic. The opposite of like 99% of men in the world today. Immortal Technique's song "You never know" is like my life anthem just without the sad ending. I'm gonna go ahead and listen to it for a while. Peace.

Britain

Their troops are nice. Hence:

http://www.informationclearinghouse.info/article11880.htm

Just listen to the filmer's voice. Fucking bastards. I think that movie made me sick to my stomach, I can't understand how someone can be so evil. The guy needs an exorcism or something heh.I can't think... this is too messed up. Sympathy these days is a privelege. It always seems to work out in the wicked's favor. See, I don't even know if that made sense because I'm just not able to at the moment.

Nationalism

What a weird topic. I remember Taylor saying a few weeks ago how nationalism is bullshit and is the cause of much evil. When I thought about how much I loved Albania/Bosnia and what I would do to protect it, his theory sounded plausible. However, it's an interesting topic that I'll have to do more research on to actually develop my own viewpoint. I have a link here which is basically a very long dialogue between a few intellectuals debating whether nationalism is beautiful/terrible.

http://www.bestandworst.com/53/nationalism-depends-nation-nature-53433.html

I'm only like done with one-fifth of the reading if you look at the vertical scroll button. That's pretty crazy, I'll have to bookmark it. I'll also have to begin looking throughout CATO's archives, since we all know the CATO institute is amazing. Damn I can't wait for college it's quite possible I'll be the only student there not partying, but sadly studying all the time.

I need to improve my shitty vocabulary while I'm at it. I just remembered some segment of the Colbert Report that I liked where he supposedly "exposed" some douche-nozzle for false-opposition. It's funny.

"STEPHEN COLBERT: I've got a theory about you, sir. You were the counterterrorism czar. . . then you had a very public "falling out" with the White House, then they "criticized you" and "impugned your character" and now you're a "public gadfly" of the Administration... Isn't this just deep cover? Isn't this sort of black ops stuff? Aren't you just red herring out there to try to smoke out America's enemies now?

FORMER COUNTERTERRORISM CZAR RICHARD CLARKE: Well, if I were, you just destroyed it.

COLBERT: I tell you what. If you are -- deny it!

CLARKE: It's not true.

COLBERT: Loud and clear."

The audience was laughing, but not in the sense that they understood what Colbert was saying. They probably thought he was just being that "funny Colbert" guy they knew, but I guess this is serious side and it shows. I thought he was pretty smart, but then Taylor was like, "Dude, then you don't even know what smart really is. These people have to like dumb their shit down for the stupid people to understand." Well, I guess I'm pretty dumb because I didn't understand most of it since I had to look up some key words. All I had to look up was, impugned, gadfly, and red herring, because I had absolutely no clue what they meant but after I figured it out I was like, "Damn, that's good."

The best song ever, "Andain - Beautiful Things"

Words

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/fabolous/exodus.html

I thought I had heard some word, but it wasn't. I'm gonna add another word to the English language: malusionary. I thought I heard that word, instead it was, " Got you pumpin’ that poison while they paint them illusionary parades..." The word itself sounds pretty damn cool. So it's my attempt to be Shakespearean, however I don't have any definiton for it so I hope someone can create something cool for it.

Oh and while we're at it, "contrusive" haha. It's a mispelling of constructive I believe, but it sounds cooler.

Developments

Daniel J Boorstin: "The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance -- it is the illusion of knowledge."

I can't tell you how many times I've been thinking about this quote and how many times someone can use it. It's amazing. Physics is amazing as well. Doing rotational motion at the moment with our new perma-substitute-teacher who's actually so damn smart, but sometimes doesn't understand our questions. Although, it's not that bad.

In the movie "The Elegant Universe" by Nova, those PBS people, there was something I remember about the universe and how fine-tuned it is.

"You see, our universe is kind of like a finely-tuned machine. Scientists have found that there are twenty numbers. Twenty fundamental constants of nature which give the universe the characteristics we see today. These are numbers like how much an electron weighs, the strength of gravity, the electromagnetic force, and the strong and weak forces. Now, as long as we set the dials on our universe machine to precisely the right values for each of these twenty numbers the machine produces the universe as we know and love. But if we change the numbers by adjusting the settings on this machine even a little bit the consequences are dramatic. For example, if I increase the strength of the Electromagnetic force atoms repel one another more strongly so the nuclear furnaces that make stars shine break down. The stars, including our sun, fizzle out. And the universe as we know it disappears. So, what exactly in nature sets the values of these twenty constants so precisely?..." Then he goes on to say it could be the extra dimensions in string theory. That goes into Quantum Physics and is just a big doozie on most people's minds.

I suppose you could mention God into all of this because I guess it only makes sense. But if you don't believe in Him, whatever, that's fine too I don't mind. To me, it's too obvious. For you, I don't know... Maybe I can refer to that quote in the beginning of this blog since it too fits in this case. All I can say is "amazing," because the universe really is.

This post inspired by Stephen Hawking.

I love fizix.

Who liked my shitty closing statement in the last blog? roflol.

Here's some random quote I found that's random, but dead-on:

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.

Internet

Sick world, really. I was linked to http://www.nnnforum.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=26313 hoping to engage in some intellectual conversation so I read the post and signed up to reply about the Federal Reserve.

From there I'm brought to the main threshold for the forum and I'm shocked after reading some really stupid shit like, "Niggers shot in the mall" or "Sand Nigger coming home after Iraq adventure" where these assholes comment on news stories and adding tid-bits like "this sand nigger should just stay in Iraq and bring his parents," on some article about some teen in high school going to Iraq on his own without letting anyone know. Fuck that. These people are just as scummy as Hitler. Hell, these people speak as if they are Hitler incarnate. If you blindy hate any one like Jews, Muslims, Blacks, etc. you're almost 100% retarded, congratulations. I wish men like Hitler, Mao, Stalin, etc. just rounded up the idiots instead of good people. May be mean, but the ends easily justify the means.

There's still some stuff I want to write about that I've had in my mind for the past few days. It's nothing special, creative ideas and feelings. Like feeling trapped in my personality which I'll elaborate on later. Another is basically love and what's culturally acceptable and how I match up. I also want to randomly include here that I love physics. Whenever I think about it I don't only think about the math, laws, or whatever else. I think about God and smile at the fact that he made all of this possible with his infinite wisdom. When/If I get into college I already know that I'll just be studying like Wagner, from Faust. I can't see myself doing anything else but reading all day like Lincoln. Trying to find my purpose. I feel like it'll be in politics, but who knows? I'll let my mind and heart lead me.

Stay classy San FranBloggers.