BBL

Well I'm done with school and embarrassed/disappointed with my performance, but that's okay. You see, at least I now understand what it really takes. I need to put all of my effort into school and stop fooling around. Some say I should get a hobby and are baffled when I tell them I read -- a lot. (Well that may not necessarily be the case just yet, as I've only begun) My hobby, no, my passion, is evolution: everything that encompasses the theory, and its utterly remarkable profundities. This is what I've been looking for my whole life -- understanding. How much more spectacular and gratifying it is than kneeling submissively daily like a tool.

Anyway, I love it. In fact, I'm reading Breaking the Spell at the moment and have a yellow sheet emblazoned with thoughts to blog about that I should delay since this book is great.

There's a weird feeling I have that keeps me going. It really was as if I was destined to do something grand. You know, ever since I was a child I just wanted to be ... important. I suppose if you think about it from a psychological perspective, I'm this self-conscious person. I want to be the best at something, and I never could be. I love attention, although I very rarely get it. I remember a fellow lacrosse player, after winning a small grant of scholarship money from the team, said how happy I looked. It may have been nothing to him, but all of this attention and acknowledgment was really special -- I smile thinking about it. I like it that way though. It means I probably won't ever get tired of it, like celebrities. "Reality is nourishment, but people don't believe it." (Be back later.)